Bio: April Salzano teaches college writing in Pennsylvania. Her work has appeared in Poetry Salzburg, Pyrokinection, Convergence, Ascent Aspirations, The Rainbow Rose, The Camel Saloon, The Applicant, The Mindful Word, Napalm and Novocain, The Second Hump, and is forthcoming in Jellyfish Whispers, The South Townsville Micro Poetry Journal, andInclement.  She is working on her first collection of poetry and an autobiographical novel on raising a child with Autism.

 

Self Checkout

I can hear the genius at Walmart

corporate headquarters, pitching

his new idea:

Why open more lanes

when we can make the customer

do the job FOR us?

Please place your item

in the bagging area…

Ok, item in bagging area. Ha! I’m

my own cashier! I’m avoiding the lines.

I’m saving…no…I’m MAKING time!

Beep. Beep. Wahoo!

Please place your item

in the bagging area.

It’s placed.

Please place your…

It’s. In. The. Bagg.ing. Ar.e.a.

Please place your item…

Motherfucker, it IS in the bagging area.

Item not bagged.

Skip bagging. Ha! There.

Beep. Beep.

Please place your item

back

on the belt.

What? Why? It’s in the bagging area.

You said bagging area. Hello?

Assistance required.

Yes, yes please assist me.

Do your job. I am not

a cashier. Can’t you see that?

Please place your item in…

am I wearing a smock? Am I?

the bagging area.

Belt! You said the belt!

Please wait for assistance.

No! I won’t!

Fine! Happy? Waiting

for assistance. To finish

select your payment method.

Card not read. Please wait

for assistance.

Please kiss my ass.

Please wait for assistance.

 

Ready or Not, Here I Come

1…works it in…

            2…kids later, I’m pleased with the struggle…

3…(pause) 4….(pause)

                                    5…(rhythm established)…

6,7…Yeah, right there (kegel’s working).

8..uh oh…9… I’m…gonna…(No! Wait!)…

10…I’m sorry.

Yes. Yes,

you are.